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Christina Applegate and Jamie-Lynn Sigler both live with multiple sclerosis, but they have different views of how the disease factors into their lives.
The two award-winning actors spoke with former TODAY co-anchor Hoda Kotb in an emotional interview on the April 9 episode of Hoda's "Making Space" podcast about the role MS plays in how they see themselves.
Applegate, 53, and Sigler, 43, were asked whether MS defines them, and their answers showed the different experiences of those living with a disease in which the immune system attacks the central nervous system.
"I think that it's been a journey of acceptance," said Sigler, a former star of "The Sopranos" who has been living with MS for 23 years. "Just a true learning experience of acceptance, surrender to what is, and acknowledging the lessons that it brings, but also the gifts."
"I think that MS doesn't define me, but it has absolutely shaped me into somebody that I wouldn't want to know without the experience," she added. "Of course, I would love to not struggle in my body. I would love to not have a disability. I would love to be able to participate in my life the way I would choose to, but the way that I look at the world, and the way that I feel about people, I don't know if it would be the same without this."
Applegate, who shared in 2021 that she had been diagnosed with MS, is in a different place.
"I am defined by it right now," she said. "I'm 3 ½ years in. I have days where I can't even walk to the bathroom, so I am defined by it. I'm angry at it still, and there's a lot of us out there who are newly diagnosed that are not quite ready to accept this reality. I keep thinking that I'm just going to wake up from this nightmare, and it's just going to be over."
The "Anchorman" star was blunt in expressing how MS has worn her down, but that there is no "right" way to live with the disease.
"I want to do these things and I can't, and it feels like I'm getting worse," she said. "And that's disheartening. But then there's like this voice inside of me that is like, 'You've got to believe in a miracle. You've got to believe in another side of this.'
"That's just kind of where I'm at right now, which is not very inspiring to anyone," she continued. "If someone listening to me goes, 'Oh my God, I feel that way, and I feel like I'm not doing it right.' There is no doing MS right."
"No, there's not," Sigler agreed.
Sigler had similar raw emotions to Applegate when she was first diagnosed with MS but felt hesitant to express them.
“They were feelings that I didn’t think — I wouldn't allow myself to feel or didn’t think I deserve to feel for way too long,” Sigler said. “So I think in the beginning of her journey with this, for her to be able to express herself like this, I admire.”
Applegate also shared a glimpse into what she regularly endures while living with MS, which can cause fatigue, memory difficulties, mood changes, mobility issues, numbness, pain, tingling, and vision impairment, according to The National Multiple Sclerosis Society.
"I went to go to the dentist yesterday, and it was a half-an-hour appointment, and it was like the most miserable hour and a half of my life," she said. "Just getting down my stairs, getting into the car, getting into the parking lot, getting into the elevator, going into the office, like the whole thing was not even an hour and a half. And by the time I got home, I was like, 'I can't move anymore.' And that's, that's the stuff that makes me (say) that I can't accept it yet because I'm mad still."
Applegate shared on the March 18 episode of the "MeSsy" podcast about MS that she co-hosts with Sigler that she has endured "upwards of 30" hospital visits since her diagnosis.
She spoke to Hoda about revealing she had MS after she required a wheelchair on the set of the third season of Netflix's "Dead to Me."
"You're going to notice that I'm different," she said. "You're going to notice in the show that I look different. You're going to notice that I'm sitting in all the scenes. And if you see me out, you're going to notice that I can't walk without a cane."
"It would all happen so quickly — from my first symptoms, which were very mild," she continued. "There was some tingling in my toes, to five months later, from my knees down. I can't feel, and it hurts, and it's awful, and it's like a 24/7 thing now. I had to protect myself by saying, 'Hey, this is what's going on. Please just let me be.'"
Sigler and Applegate also opened up about what it's like to have people constantly asking them about their health. Hoda likened it to when she was being treated for breast cancer, where it felt like her illness was the only thing people would talk to her about.
Applegate, who is a breast cancer survivor herself, recalled commiserating with a friend at a party recently about a similar issue.
"She had just been through this thing, and we get there, and she just comes over to me, and she goes, 'How many more times are people going to be like, 'Are you OK?' And I said, 'Yeah, dude I can't handle it. I got to leave.' She's like, 'Yeah, I think we need to leave.'
'I said, 'I can't, not one more person. I can't have one more person come up and be like, 'How are you? Are you OK?' And both of us were like, 'F' no, we're not OK. Do you understand that part? Why are you asking if we're OK? You know what both of us have gone through. We're not OK. And if you don't want to hear a long, sad story, don't ask the effing question, man!'"
As for the physical effects of MS, Sigler finds that practicing daily meditation helps her push through difficult moments. She said her son recently asked her what she thinks about and what she sees when she's meditating.
"I was like, 'Well, there is a visualization I have very often, and it's me running, again, on a beach towards my children,'" Sigler said. "It's beautiful. It is my greatest wish. And I love it."
Her son then asked her if she's sad when she finishes meditating because she can't run on a beach with her kids.
"I said, 'No, I'm actually so happy because that was real. In my meditation, when I run to you, it felt real in every cell of my body, and no one can take that away from me. While, yes, now I'm going to struggle to get up and limp towards the kitchen to make you your snack, I just ran to you for 20 minutes, and it's become my favorite part of the day.'
"Whether it's another dimension, an alternate reality, or I'm just crazy, whatever it is, it's medicine," she said.
