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The phone rings. The voice on the other end asks, “Can Lucy play?”
My husband and I look at each other and laugh.
It’s Gus, one of our daughter’s friends from school. He’s calling what used to be my husband’s old iPhone, now turned semi-permanent kid device. No SIM card, just WiFi and a handful of pre-approved apps: Spotify for listening to Taylor Swift and the “Wicked” soundtrack, YouTube Kids for slime ASMR, Disney+ for “Bluey,” and Roblox.
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Lucy shared the number with a few classmates. It rings every now and then since being repurposed and reclaimed by our 9-year-old.
When we were kids, the question “Can so-and-so play?” would’ve launched a sequence of events: bike helmets clipped under chins, sneakers sliding into the doorway, a sprint toward a neighbor’s front yard. Maybe a backyard trampoline. Maybe a Mario Kart tournament in a basement with fruit snacks and game controller cords strewn across the floor.
In 2025, however, the playdate lives somewhere else entirely.
“Sure,” we say to Gus. After all, it’s a summer weekend. Lucy plops on the family room couch, props the family iPad against a pillow, and FaceTimes Gus on the phone. Together, they dive into a Roblox server to co-play something involving avatars, obstacle courses, and weird little sound effects I can’t quite decode (yet).
It’s a new kind of kid pastime — the ambient audio over their chatter, the collaboration across screens. Not better. Not worse. Just … different. This is modern play. And most days, we’re okay with it.
But sometimes — quietly, under the hum of laundry and leftover spaghetti — I still worry. Because Roblox, for all its color and creativity, scares the hell out of me. I know I’m not alone.
What Is Roblox? A Quick Primer for Parents
If you’ve never played or watched a kid play Roblox, it’s easy to assume it’s just another game like Minecraft or Pokémon. But, it’s not.
Roblox is more like an entire ecosystem. This virtual playground is packed with millions of user-generated games (from obstacle courses and fashion shows to first-person escape rooms and fantasy adventures). Kids build avatars, earn Robux (in-game currency), join servers, and interact with others — often strangers — around the world.
According to RoMonitor Stats, as of this week, Roblox boasts nearly 89 million daily active users. Roughly 40% are under 13 years old.
Think of it as YouTube meets LEGO meets the Metaverse. Except it’s powered largely by young users who make the games, set the rules, and drive the trends. It’s creative. It’s chaotic. It’s the virtual wild west. And, it’s a magnet for curious kids who want to build, play, and connect.
Why Roblox Freaks Parents Out
For every story about the joy of collaborative play, there’s a viral headline reminding us that Roblox can also be a sketchy, sus — even dangerous — place.
There are legitimate concerns, like:
-Scams and grifts are rampant. Players get tricked into giving up their Robux or passwords via third-party websites. (via BBC)
-Inappropriate content occasionally slips through moderation. For instance, games with disturbing themes or violent actions might be masked in kid-friendly graphics. (via The Guardian)
-Online predators have used chat features to lure and manipulate kids. (via Bloomberg)
We’ve had our own scare.
Last year, Lucy told us, “I made a new friend. She says she goes to my school.” When we asked, “How did you meet her?” She said, “She sent me a chat on Roblox.” My husband and I weren’t born yesterday. We knew this was a lie. What are the odds Lucy just happened to find a friend from school in the sea of millions on this game? It was enough to snap us out of our level of chill. My husband sprung to action and made it so that Lucy can’t receive incoming chats from strangers.
We told Lucy she was being duped, though we didn’t know why. We’re grateful she told us right away. That day, we became more aware out of necessity. It made one thing crystal clear: there is no such thing as a kid-safe platform, and it sure as hell wasn’t Roblox.
Brett Cruz, father and resident security expert at Security.org, an online platform that reviews and ranks a variety of home security and digital safety products, had his reservations too. Before letting his son play Roblox, he put his cybersecurity expert hat on and took the game for a spin himself. He identified three big risks: in-game communication from strangers, mini-games within the Roblox universe that are not age-appropriate (Cruz’s son is 6), and video game addiction because Roblox is essentially an endless repository of activity.
Risk #1: In-Game Communication From Strangers
“I encountered a few poorly-moderated experiences where the server chat includes crude language, sexual references, and cyberbullying,” Cruz warns. “These chats are supposed to be moderated (often by AI), but not everything is caught.” Cruz also asserts that it’s entirely possible for scammers to use in-game chats and other types of interactions on Roblox to execute scams like social engineering and phishing.
Predators might also contact kids on Roblox through in-game chat, private messaging, or friend requests, says Cruz. “Accounts of users below 13 are more heavily moderated, but determined predators may use subtle, manipulative language to bypass those filters.” Cruz also points out, online tricksters might even urge young users to take the conversation off Roblox and instead use an alternate and less moderated platform, like Discord once trust is built.
“[Predators] might exploit games with open social interactions, such as dating simulators or roleplay games, where they can initiate contact and test boundaries,” Cruz explains. “They might also pose as fellow kids or popular creators to gain trust, slowly grooming their victims by complimenting them, giving them virtual items, or encouraging private communication.”
Cruz has been able to mitigate the first risk by turning off in-game voice and text chats. “We plan to eventually let him use those features, but not until we’re confident he understands the risks and boundaries,” he says.
Risk #2: Age-Inappropriate Mini-Games
As for making sure his 6-year-old only accesses age-appropriate mini-games? “We used Roblox’s in-game maturity label system to limit the type of content he can access,” Cruz explains. “We don’t rely on just that, though. We continue to monitor what mini-games he plays, and we have a rule that he has to show us new mini-games he wants to try.”
Keep in mind, since Roblox experiences are user-generated, things sometimes slip through the platform’s well-meaning filters. Despite Roblox’s moderation protocols, Cruz still saw borderline suggestive images that are not appropriate for younger kids. They were displayed in a role-playing mini-game where players can explore a city, enter shopping malls and establishments, and look for collectible items. “It sounds innocent enough,” Cruz points out. But upon closer inspection, the billboards within the virtual city were not okay for young eyes.
Risk #3: Video Game Addiction
When it comes to safeguarding against game addiction, Cruz uses a parental control app to monitor and limit his son’s screen time. “We also communicated with him his boundaries. For example, no Roblox past 6 p.m. on school nights, and we’re making sure we are enforcing [rules] consistently.”
That kind of consistency is important, but so is understanding what’s actually happening behind the screen. According to Rachel Kowert, Ph.D. and digital parenting expert at Nurture, an app that helps kids ages 4 to 7 build essential life skills, gaming platforms like Roblox are designed to be highly engaging. They utilize features like achievements, social play, and regular content drops to keep players hooked. But, that doesn’t make them inherently addictive in the clinical sense. “There’s no research evidence to suggest these games are deliberately designed to be addictive. Instead, some individuals may develop problematic usage patterns — something quite different from clinical addiction,” she explains.
In other words: context matters. A child who plays Roblox for two hours after school isn’t necessarily addicted. But a child who skips meals, avoids friends, or melts down every time the screen turns off may be using gaming to cope with bigger, underlying issues, like anxiety, depression, or social challenges.
“Excessive gaming is much more likely to be a symptom, not the root cause,” says Kowert.
Still, structure helps. “Create family gaming agreements around what your child will play, how much, and with who,” Kowert recommends. “That way, you’re setting boundaries with your child.” Rather than chasing a magic number of allowed minutes, she suggests thinking about a “digital diet.” Don’t avoid screens entirely, but be intentional and mindful about what’s on the plate.
So, What Can Parents Do? Here’s Your Roblox Safety Checklist
You don’t have to be a tech expert to keep your kids safer on Roblox. But you do need to be involved. Here’s what we’ve learned — and what the experts like Cruz recommend:
-Create a parent-controlled Roblox account by using your email. Then, set up your account restrictions.
-Enable a parent PIN, so kids can’t change settings on their own.
-Set chat settings to “Friends Only.” This means your child can only chat with people they’ve already added as Roblox friends by username. Or, you can turn it off entirely.
-Turn off private messaging and friend requests from strangers.
-Use “Allowed Experiences” filters to restrict which games they can access.
-Regularly check the “Recent Games Played” section in their profile.
-Have open conversations about scams, Robux (if someone or something is offering free Robux, for instance, it’s a red flag), and emotional safety.
-Allow screens only in common areas and while you’re within earshot (not bedrooms, no headphones).
-Use Roblox’s “Family Pairing” feature on the mobile app for real-time monitoring.
-Monitor other apps beyond Roblox — like Discord, Snapchat, Kik, even text messages — to ensure your child isn’t having unsafe conversations or being contacted by sketchy strangers on less regulated platforms.
You can also check Roblox’s own “Parent Guide” for updates. Roblox continues to roll out features that give adults more control.
Even still, Cruz urges that while Roblox’s parental controls are fairly robust, they need to be properly configured and are still not foolproof. “I find the parental controls easier to use for parents to younger kids who are more open to accepting limitations,” he says. “As the child grows older and yearns for more freedom to use certain features, the built-in parental controls become less effective and more tedious to set up.”
There are also random loopholes. For example, even if you disable the chat function, there are “game UI elements or bugs (like auto-opening chat boxes) that can still appear,” says Derek Jackson, COO and co-founder of Cyber Dive, a tech company whose mission is to keep children safe online. He suggests a helpful workaround he learned from a Reddit user: “Temporarily switch chat settings to default, open a game, collapse the chat bubble manually, then re-enable the ‘No One’ option.”
It’s important for parents to keep monitoring regardless. “The system is not perfect, as I’ve seen first-hand how some inappropriate content and interactions still get through. So, while parental controls are a useful layer, they need to be combined with conversations about safe online behavior and proactive effort by the parents,” Cruz explains.
Finding the Sweet Spot: How to Balance Roblox in Your Home
We try to limit screen time in our house — like every parent — but Roblox throws a wrench in that plan. Our kids will ask to play. It’s fun! It’s social! It’s creative! And let’s be honest, it buys us parents a little quiet time while we’re trying to cook dinner or finish work. But the line between healthy use and overuse can get blurry fast.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Boundaries and balance are important so that kids get sleep, play and spend time with their family. Whether that screen time duration goal is 2 to 3 hours per day on weekends or at Grandma’s house, and 1 hour per day at home is up to your family to figure out and will vary based on what’s going on in your life.”
So it’s not just about the number of minutes, it’s about the role screens play in your child’s world. Are they zoning out? Or, are they engaging in something imaginative? Are they connecting with friends? Or, are they isolating? Are they still able to sleep, move, eat, and interact in real life?
Experts agree that the most important factor is how screen time is integrated into family routines, and whether it displaces other important activities like sleep, exercise, and healthy face-to-face interaction.
“Kids [need to] have consistent off-screen connection opportunities to support real-life social-emotional development,” says Alyssa Campbell, founder and CEO of parenting support brand Seed & Sew. The boundaries parents put in place can protect nervous system regulation, she attests. Think: breaks, time limits, and tools for stopping when they’re overstimulated or upset.
“Digital play doesn’t have to be the enemy,” according to Campbell, whose book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, comes out this fall. “But, it does need to be part of a balanced play diet.”
And, Campbell cautions, be on the lookout for digital exclusion and bullying, which can activate the same stress responses in the body as in-person rejection. She also recommends to keep an eye on the following red flags in kids who play Roblox (or any other online games):
-A sudden shift in behavior (more withdrawn, irritable, or clingy after screen time)
-Avoidance of favorite games or friends
-Increased emotional reactivity (meltdowns, shutdowns, or anxiety around logging in)
-Secretive behavior, deleting chats, or quickly closing screens
“If something feels off, lead with connection,” she urges. “You don’t have to interrogate. Try, ‘Hey, I noticed you seemed really upset after that game, want to talk about it?’”
We’ve learned to look at the whole day, not just the app. If Lucy has played outside, done her homework, read a book, talked to us at dinner, and still wants 30 minutes of Roblox? Fine. But if her mood dips, she’s snapping at us, or can’t fall asleep, we know it’s time to scale back. The behavior, not the clock, is our cue. But what works for us may not work for you.
Our goal isn’t perfect screen control. It’s teaching our kids to notice how tech affects them, so they can learn to manage it someday without us. And, I’m not going to lie — my husband and I are navigating and optimizing our own screen time to follow suit.
In our home, we now treat Roblox (and device use of all kinds) the way one would treat processed snacks. Some is fine. Too much will put you in a funk.
Parenting, Not Policing: Why I Still Let Lucy Play Roblox
So, why do I still let my 9-year-old play Roblox — even after a scare and all the risks presented above? Because I don’t believe in raising her in a digital vacuum. I want her to grow up with tools and instincts, not just walls and restrictions. If I block her from everything that carries risk, I also block her from learning how to navigate the world around her, self-regulate when needed, and recover from what life brings.
According to American Psychological Association, this is considered “authoritative parenting.” Think: high expectations, high warmth. It’s different from permissive- or authoritarian-style approaches. Authoritative parenting equals guiding, not “helicoptering.” It’s not letting her run wild, but not pretending the “wild” doesn’t exist.
That’s where resilience comes from, isn’t it? Letting her explore — with boundaries — gives her room to develop that emotional muscle. She can then hone how certain interactions make her feel. She will learn how to ask for help when something seems off. She can make small mistakes in a space where I can help her process and recover from them. My own resilience wasn’t built in the absence of discomfort, after all. It developed over time through experience.
I can’t help but think shielding also breeds secrecy, shame, and rebellion. Case in point: one of Lucy’s friends who wasn’t “allowed” to play Roblox found a workaround using his family laptop anyway. He created an account using a web browser, and the parents still have no idea.
That’s the paradox of total control: the more tightly we lock things down, the more our kids learn to maneuver around us instead of confide in us. I’d rather be the one Lucy comes to when something weird happens than the one she hides it from.
The Upside of Roblox: Collaboration, Creativity, and Coding
Roblox isn’t all danger. It comes with positives. When I observe Lucy and her friends play, I see:
-Problem solving in obstacle courses.
-Teamwork in survival games.
-Digital storytelling in role-play worlds.
-Avatar design and self-expression (and yes, sometimes outfit envy).
-Interest in coding and game design. Some kids even learn Lua (the scripting language used to create games and experiences on Roblox) to build their own games.
There’s a reason Roblox has partnered with educators to bring game-based learning into classrooms. It can fuel a generation of makers. There are also Roblox coding summer camps that help kids dive deeper into skills like scripting, 3D modeling, and collaborative game-building.
So to some, it’s not just entertainment — it can be a launchpad for STEAM skills. We’re talking logic, design thinking, basic programming, and even digital citizenship (when guided well). In the right context for the right kid, Roblox can become less like screen time and more like a hands-on tech lab.
I Threw Lucy a Roblox Birthday Party—and I Have Zero Guilt About It
In April, when Lucy turned 9, we hosted a Roblox-themed birthday party.
I’ll be honest: I had my doubts. When she floated the idea for a Roblox-themed shindig — 22 kids with iPads, an afternoon of gaming — I hesitated. What would the other parents think? Would kids actually connect?
But Lucy was sure it’s what she wanted. Almost all of her friends play Roblox. And if I’ve learned anything about parenting in the age of virtual-everything, it’s that sometimes you have to let go of the picture you had in your head in order to make room for the one your kid is drawing in real time.
So we went all in. We used ChatGPT and Canva to design personalized Roblox avatars for each guest. We printed and taped them to their party favor bags. The kids laughed when they found their pictures, transformed into blocky characters. We served cupcakes with Roblox toppers and cookies in the shape of Roblox graphics. We turned our living room into a game lounge.
That day, snagging the WiFi password was like getting VIP access. Kids flopped on the couch and floor, leaned against furniture, huddled in pairs and trios. Within minutes, they’d all joined the same virtual world. There was shouting — “Wait for me!” and “Go here!” — and nonstop giggling as they jumped over lava pits, built imaginary rooms, and created outfits in Dress To Impress (Roblox’s fashion-themed roleplay game).
The party guests who didn’t know each other exchanged usernames like baseball cards, and by the end of the day, there were new friendships built on digital ground.
The other parents and I hovered at the edges, replenishing snacks, handing out chargers, and trying not to micromanage the moment. What we saw was something that felt, despite all my earlier doubts, very real.
It wasn’t what birthday parties looked like in 1995, sure. But it was just as loud and joyful. And it was undeniably social. Just kids being kids … in the way that makes the most sense to them right now.
Be the Guide, Not the Gatekeeper
Roblox still scares me. But parenting is scary.
We can’t future-proof our kids, but we can prepare them.
In my house, that means teaching my daughter how to recognize scams, adhere to our family rules, communicate with us openly, and know when it’s time to put the device down. It means letting her play with our parameters in mind, knowing I’m right there beside her — sometimes literally, other times not.
My hope is that if I do my job well, she won’t need me to hold her hand down every path. Instead, she’ll trust her gut to let her know which roads to walk down and which ones to avoid — virtual or IRL.
Before you go, check out these celebrities who have shared their technology rules for their kids.
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